Sex Addiction and Marriage
The bond of trust has been broken, but repair and restoration can begin TODAY
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- Sex Addiction and Relationships – Marriage
For better or for worse. It’s one of the most important commitments in your wedding vows and the message is clear—there are going to be hurdles to overcome in every marriage.
However, betrayal, infidelity, and deception are never the expected hurdles, and result in devastating trauma for the betrayed partner.
Sex addiction begins usually in adolescence long before marriage with a pattern of sexual obsession that is often kept secret for years or decades. For some it is an exclusively solitary activity, as in compulsive masturbation and pornography.
For others, their obsession progresses to pursuing physical interaction through an online affair or hookup. Others progress to illegal behavior with prostitutes in massage parlors, strip joints or online forums, voyeurism, exhibitionism, underage pornography.
You’re here because you love your partner, but you’ve also had the devastating discovery of sexual acting out behaviors. Your questions far outnumber your answers, and we’re here to help.
As a partner of a sex addict, it is important to reach out to gain the support and guidance you deserve, as you navigate the path forward toward your healing and recovery.
We are ready to walk with you in your journey on the road to restoration and hope, uniquely mapped out for each client and couple. We assist in full therapeutic disclosures, building healthy boundaries, teaching positive coping skills, and facilitating supportive groups.
We know that all of these work together to provide the space to build hope and empowerment as you regain your voice, find community for healing and recovery from the trauma of intimate betrayal.
Signs of spousal sex addiction
Common signs of a sexually addicted husband or wife:
- Your partner is secretive around phone, computer, and other electronic devices
- Sensing that your partner is acting uncharacteristically; something just isn’t right
- Feeling like your thoughts, feelings and emotions are being manipulated by your partner
- Intense anxiety; insecurity; panic — as if you are out of control or "going crazy"
- Changes in sexual intimacy
- Unexplained or poorly explained charges to your bank/financial accounts
Some partners report having experienced all of these, while others had no idea about the addiction until discovery. No matter the case, please know that you are not alone. Many others have taken this difficult journey, and you do not have to do it by yourself. There is help, hope and healing.
Partners of Sex Addicts
As the partner of a sex addict, you may be wondering where can you turn? It can be confusing and disorienting. While your partner is getting help, where can you turn when your life has also been upended by your partner’s actions?
When left unaddressed, sex addiction can slowly unravel the strongest of loving relationships. We encourage you to consider individual and/or group therapy, to provide a space for you to address your own hurt and trauma, and find healing outside of your partner’s choices.
Impacts of Sex Addiction on a Partner
If you’re experiencing one or more of these, or are concerned about whether your symptoms are a reaction to your partner’s behavior, please call us for a non-judgmental consultation, or click the below button that best describes your concerns.
- Repeatedly remembering and reliving the trauma of discovery
- Severe emotional distress
- Feelings of sadness, loneliness or abandonment
- Regularly feeling overwhelmed and unable to think
- Triggers that result in reliving the trauma related to your partner’s acting out behavior
- Noticing you are doing things out of your normal character
- Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
- Feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness, like it's your fault
- Failure to see yourself as attractive or desirable
- Feeling numb
- Questioning life choices
- Feeling detached and isolated from those around you
Help for Spouses of Sex Addicts
Suspecting or discovering your partner’s sex addiction is traumatic. Please know that you are not alone! Once you’ve completed the intake form, please visit our free resource page.
Talking about sex is uncomfortable! But what do you do when your partner is struggling with pornography and/or another sex addiction? For partners, the topic of sex often becomes a source of pain, shame and isolation. Partners frequently ask, “Who can I talk to?” and “Who can understand what I am going through?” City Gate is here to support you as a partner, and provides both individual and group counseling.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes. When both partners are committed to saving the relationship, there is opportunity to grow stronger following betrayal trauma. Some of the key steps towards a better marriage include full disclosure, polygraph, individual, group, and couple therapies. The recovering sex addict must maintain a pattern of healthy sobriety and commitment to recovery one day at a time with open and honest communication during all phases of recovery.